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Story Summary: Meet Nick Valentine-Former cop. Current PI. A man with his ear out on the streets, Styrofoam cup cocktail at his lips, a pocket full of pills and chainsaw in his trunk. That’s not a euphemism.  A literal chainsaw. Valentine doesn’t have a ‘problem’, he’s perfectly happy staying as inebriated as possible as much as he physically can. He’s been called in by the chief of police to take a look at a suspicious ‘suicide’ of a bank manager. Also, meet Valentine’s dog, Frank Sinatra-Adorable. Fierce. Football humper.

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A little back story here-A good friend of mine, known to me as EmEfferson, has a show called “Freddy’s Fan Fiction”. It’s broadcast live, and consists of a panel of guests reading Fan Fiction. At the end of the episode, the guests pick elements to be included in a new, original work of fan fiction, written by one of the guests. Two weeks ago, I was given the elements “The Mario Universe, Dinosaurs, Clowns and Bangin'”. For some reason it occurred to me to write it first-person, noir/crime fic style. This was the result. Enjoy.

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